When Conflicting Feelings Don't Compute

They are not compatible.

I love him so much, but he is mean sometimes and makes me feel worthless and like he does not love me back. But he can be so nice, too. It's like....I'm only worth his time when things are sunny and cheerful. The moment there's conflict, he turns to ice stone cold and unfeeling and downright cruel.

I love my son and the son on the way and I love him, too, but....I'm being driven to the point where I hate myself.

How does this compute? The conflicting feelings are incompatible and I feel like I am going to go mad.